My relationship with exercise had always been a disordered one. I would tell myself I ‘had to’ before each run or session at the gym. In my eating disorder, exercise had quickly become a form of punishment to my body for simply being and every thought and hope I had centered around changing it. I refused all signals my body sent me and let my eating disorder take over because it convinced me that it knew better.

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As I attempted to accept help and move through recovery, I began to loathe the thought of exercise. Any time someone suggested a walk, or I felt the urge to move I refused it. I remember it bringing me a physical sense of frustration and anger. In hindsight, I think it was the only way I could protest recovery. Deep down I was screaming for something that I wanted to do. I craved some sense of agency, that I, just me, was doing something. That I was not listening to my ED, or my parents, or my therapist. At the same time, I was terrified that if I went looking for that agency, my real self, I would find an empty nothingness. For years I struggled with finding, accepting, and fully embodying who I was.

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During my undergraduate studies, I started to try to mend my relationship with movement. One day I picked up a flyer for a cycling certification course on my way out of the gym and thought to myself ‘I really think I could do this.’ That moment shaped the next 6 years of my life. Through instruction, I started to find my voice. For the first time, I experienced a visceral form of confidence, a sureness in myself and my abilities that I'd never been able to drum up before.

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After the last three years of working in various mental health organizations and roles, working as a research assistant for an eating disorder treatment center, and working with clients as a recovery coach I saw a gap in the care and a chance to reconnect with my passion for instruction. Thus Back In My Body was born.

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My goal is to help you explore and redefine your relationship with movement. We will collaborate to create goals that don’t involve numbers, others expectations, or 'shoulds.' Our goals will focus on helping you feel more you and providing you with the insight and tools to keep yourself well not just for a season of your life but the entirety of it. 

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Let’s let in some joy, let go of the rest and get back in our bodies.